Navigating Teen Dating: Building Healthy Relationship Foundations
Understanding Teen Dating Dynamics
As another school year kicks off, teen dating often marks a significant step towards adulthood. Unfortunately, many teens mimic the unhealthy behaviors they've observed. In the coming weeks, Steps to Hope will highlight ways to guide our youth towards making relationship choices that nurture rather than harm.
What is Domestic Violence?
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, domestic violence, also known as Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), is a pattern of behaviors—physical, emotional, sexual, financial—used by one partner to maintain power and control over another in an intimate relationship. This issue knows no boundaries and affects everyone, but the pressures on today's teens—from vaping to dating—can be overwhelming.
A Real-Life Example
Consider the story of a mother concerned about her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend. The boyfriend interfered with family gatherings, constantly followed the daughter, called her frequently, and questioned her whereabouts. He dictated how she dressed, where she went, and who she hung out with. Over time, the daughter's grades slipped, she isolated herself, stopped socializing, and quit her favorite activities to spend all her time with him.
Alarming Statistics
LoveIsRespect.org reports that 1 in 3 teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from a dating partner before turning 18—a staggering statistic. We know it's happening, but how can we help them navigate these challenges? They need tools to manage adulting and become strong, healthy adults.
How to Help
Be Present and Listen
The most important thing we can do is listen to them. If a teen wants to talk, turn off your phone and be 100% present. Block out distractions and affirm that you've heard them. Ask gentle questions and engage in conversation. Accept what the teen is telling you and ask if they want you to listen or offer suggestions. Wait for their answer—this is how you build trust.
Focus on Behavior, Not the Person
This is an opportunity to teach teens to evaluate whether a behavior is okay or not. Once they acknowledge a behavior as problematic, you can discuss possible solutions. The teen may even ask to rehearse what to say during a relationship conversation. The goal is to build trust and maintain your relationship with the child. They need your support no matter what; you are on their side.
What's Next?
In our next article, we will discuss prevention, education, and resources. For more information or to seek help, contact Steps to Hope, a domestic violence and sexual assault center serving Polk County, NC, and Upstate SC.